Working is no fun! (jokes)

  

Why employees are TIRED…..

Have you wondered why office staff are always dead tired by the end of the day and companies really require no further physical fitness program for their employees. The reason is that EVERYONE gets enough exercise by:  

1.        Jumping to conclusion
2.        Beating around the bush
3.        Running down the boss
4.        Going around in circles
5.        Dragging their feet
6.        Passing the buck



7.        Climbing the ladder
8.        Wading through paperwork
9.        Pulling strings
10.     Throwing their weight around
11.      Stretching the truth
12.      Bending the rules
13.      Pushing their luck

NO WONDER THEY ARE ALL TIRED AT THE END OF A WORKING DAY!!

Why employees are never HAPPY…..

When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he is too busy.

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.

When I make a mistake, I am an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wandering around. When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

Why employees never find right JOBS…

1. My first job was working in an Orange juice factory, but I got canned. Could not concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just could not hack it, so they gave me the axe. 
 
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but was not suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew (so-so) job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5.  Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just did not have the thyme.   

 

6.  Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it… could not cut the mustard.    

 

7.  My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I was not noteworthy.

 

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,  but did not have any patience.

 

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just did not fit in. 

 

10. I became a professional Fisherman,  but discovered I could not live on my net income.

 

11.  Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.


12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,   but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

 

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,  I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.

 

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind. 

I decided the best thing to do for me is to RETIRE.