(1) 3 Newlywed daughters
A Mother has 3 virgin daughters ready to get married in the near future. She was rather worried about how they would get their sex life started. All promised to send a postcard from their honeymoon trips with a few words to describe their sexual experiences.
The eldest daughter sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card showed nothing but: “NESCAFE“!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It stated: “Good till the last drop“.
Mom blushed but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “ROTHMANS”
Mom peeped at her husband’s cigarettes, and saw on the pack: “Extra Long. King Size”
She was so embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week and heard nothing. Weeks passed and after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words
“SOUTH AFRICAN AIRWAYS.”
Feeling uneasy, mum checked out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: “Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”
Mom fainted!
(2) Chicken sandwiches
The eldest daughter sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.
The card showed nothing but: “NESCAFE“!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It stated: “Good till the last drop“.
Mom blushed but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “ROTHMANS”
Mom peeped at her husband’s cigarettes, and saw on the pack: “Extra Long. King Size”
She was so embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week and heard nothing. Weeks passed and after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words
Feeling uneasy, mum checked out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: “Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”
Mom fainted!
(2) Chicken sandwiches
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Siting together to eat their lunch almost daily, they discovered that both their parents prepared chicken sandwiches. As time goes by moving up the grades, the boy noticed that the girl is no longer eating her chicken sandwich.
He asked, “Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?”
She said “I love to but I have to stop eating it”
“Why?” he asked further.
She pointed to her lap and said “Coz I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”
“Let me see” he put on a curious look.
“Okay” and she pulled up her skirt. He stared and agreed, “That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.”
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he changed to peanut butter. He told the little girl, “I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches as feathers are growing down there too!”
She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her. She said “Oh, my God, it’s too late for you! You’ve already got the neck and the gizzards!!!
(3) Broken rubber
One day a Red Indian boy approaches his mother with a puzzled look on his face.
He asked, “why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?”
“Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.”, she replied.
“Why is my sister named ‘Corn Flower’?”
“Well,” his mother answered, “Your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her.”
“And why is my other sister called ‘Moon Child’?”
“We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived.” the mother replied.
The mother then asked the boy, “Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?!”
(4) Cab drivers
A woman and her ten year old son were riding in a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.
“Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”
The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true, Mom?”
His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, “Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?”
“Most of them become cab drivers,” she said.
She said “I love to but I have to stop eating it”
“Why?” he asked further.
She pointed to her lap and said “Coz I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”
“Let me see” he put on a curious look.
“Okay” and she pulled up her skirt. He stared and agreed, “That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.”
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he changed to peanut butter. He told the little girl, “I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches as feathers are growing down there too!”
She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her. She said “Oh, my God, it’s too late for you! You’ve already got the neck and the gizzards!!!
(3) Broken rubber
One day a Red Indian boy approaches his mother with a puzzled look on his face.
He asked, “why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm?”
“Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.”, she replied.
“Why is my sister named ‘Corn Flower’?”
“Well,” his mother answered, “Your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her.”
“And why is my other sister called ‘Moon Child’?”
“We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived.” the mother replied.
The mother then asked the boy, “Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious?!”
(4) Cab drivers
“Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.
The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”
The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true, Mom?”
His mother, glaring hard at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.
After a few minutes, the kid asks, “Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?”
“Most of them become cab drivers,” she said.
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