Sure you enjoy the stories circulating online…
1. Story of the Taliban
A fleeing Taliban was plodding through the Afghan desert searching for water when he saw something afar. As he got closer, he confirmed is an oasis where water should be found. To his disappointment, he can only see a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”
The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy any tie for $5.”
The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need a tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”
“OK,” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant selling all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”
Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead and said, “Your bloody brother won’t let me in without a tie!”
2. Mother to be
A young man was shopping in a supermarket and noticed a little old lady following him around. When he stopped, she did the same and kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,
“I hope you don't feel ill at ease. It is just that you look so much like my late son.”
To that he answered: “That’s okay.”
She said: “I know it’s silly but if you were to call out ‘goodbye Mom’ as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy.”
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone’s day, he went to pay for his groceries.
“That comes to $121.85,” said the clerk..
“How come so much? I only bought 5 items.”
The clerk replied, “Yeah, but your mother said you’d be paying for her things, too.”
Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.
Don't trust little old ladies!
THEY CAN MAKE YOU REAL SAD !
3. Dear, DEER meat for you
A man hunted a deer and took it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decided that they would not tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will instead give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue….
Well, he said : ‘It’s what your mommy calls me sometimes.’
”The little girl immediately screams to her brother:
“Don’t eat it! It’s an asshole…!”
4. Two Christians in the desert
One is David, the other is Michael. They were dying of hunger and thirst when they suddenly came upon an oasis, with what looked like a minaret of a mosque in the middle.
1. Story of the Taliban
The Taliban asked, “Do you have water?”
The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy any tie for $5.”
The Taliban shouted, “Idiot! I do not need a tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!”
“OK,” said the old Jewish man, “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant selling all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.”
Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead and said, “Your bloody brother won’t let me in without a tie!”
2. Mother to be
A young man was shopping in a supermarket and noticed a little old lady following him around. When he stopped, she did the same and kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,
“I hope you don't feel ill at ease. It is just that you look so much like my late son.”
To that he answered: “That’s okay.”
She said: “I know it’s silly but if you were to call out ‘goodbye Mom’ as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy.”
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, “Goodbye, Mom.”
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone’s day, he went to pay for his groceries.
“That comes to $121.85,” said the clerk..
“How come so much? I only bought 5 items.”
The clerk replied, “Yeah, but your mother said you’d be paying for her things, too.”
Bet you thought this was going to be a tear jerker.
Don't trust little old ladies!
THEY CAN MAKE YOU REAL SAD !
3. Dear, DEER meat for you
A man hunted a deer and took it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decided that they would not tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will instead give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue….
Well, he said : ‘It’s what your mommy calls me sometimes.’
”The little girl immediately screams to her brother:
“Don’t eat it! It’s an asshole…!”
4. Two Christians in the desert
David said to Michael: “Look, let’s pretend we are Muslim, otherwise these Arabs are going to kill us. I am going to call myself Mohammed.”
Michael refused to change his name, he said: "My name is Michael, and I will not pretend to be other than but what I am.…Michael.”
The Imam of the mosque received both well and asked about their names. David said: “My name is Mohammed.” Michael said: “My name is Michael.”
The Imam turned to the helpers of the mosque and said: “Please bring some food and water for Michael only.” Then he turned to the other and said: “Well Mohammed, I hope you are aware that we are in the holy month of Ramadan.”
5: New secretary
Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite.
One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, ”Mr. Johnson, your barrack’s door is opened.”
He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was opened.
He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her in, he asked, “By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barrack’s door was open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?”
The secretary, who was quite witty replied, “Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.”
Michael refused to change his name, he said: "My name is Michael, and I will not pretend to be other than but what I am.…Michael.”
The Imam of the mosque received both well and asked about their names. David said: “My name is Mohammed.” Michael said: “My name is Michael.”
The Imam turned to the helpers of the mosque and said: “Please bring some food and water for Michael only.” Then he turned to the other and said: “Well Mohammed, I hope you are aware that we are in the holy month of Ramadan.”
5: New secretary
Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite.
One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, ”Mr. Johnson, your barrack’s door is opened.”
He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was opened.
He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her in, he asked, “By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barrack’s door was open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?”
The secretary, who was quite witty replied, “Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.”
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