Nuns can be CRAZY too (jokes)

  

Case 1: Sisters of ST FRANCIS

As a man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, he notices a display sign that reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He blinks his eyes in disbelief and continues to drive on without second thought. Soon another sign appears,

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

For one moment, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. True enough he pasts a third sign showing:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity mounts and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. A nun in a long black habit is at the door to receive him. She asks, ‘What may we do for you, my son?’

He replies, ‘I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business.’

‘Very well, my son. Please follow me.’

Leading through many winding passages, he is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, ‘Please knock on this door.’

He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.

This nun instructs, ‘Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway’.

He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

GO IN PEACE.

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER!!!

(2)  The blind man

A nun is undressing for a shower. Whilst standing naked, there is a knock at the door. The nun asks, “Who is it?”

A voice answers, “A blind salesman.”

The nun decides to get a thrill by having the blind man in the room while she is naked so she lets him in. The man walks in, looks straight at the nun and says, “Uhhhh, well hello there, can I sell you a blind, dearie…?”

Case 3: Alcohol is SINFUL

Arriving in New York on a business trip, a guy decided to head to a local bar for a drink. He saw a nun holding a tin cup at the door. As he threw a few bucks into her cup the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol like how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and a major cause of all the city’s problems.

Slightly pissed off at having to listen to this the guy said, “Listen sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That doesn’t make me a bad person. I have a doting wife and two wonderful kids at home. Besides providing for my family, I volunteer my time to several local service clubs and contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!”

The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, “I see your point my son and I apologize if I have offended you, but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed.”

”Look there you go again,” said the man, “How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?”

“Of course not!” gasped the nun, “The evil alcohol has never touched my lips.”

“Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?”

“Well, I really don’t know …”

“I’ll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I’ll buy you a drink. One drink. I’ll prove to you that “evil” is not inside the glass, it’s inside the person.”

“Oh I could never be seen going into such a den of inequity, it’s out of the question. However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you’ve aroused a curiosity in me.”

“Well let’s go inside and settle this.”

“No my son, I could never enter such a place… but how about this. Take my tin cup with you and fill it with this “scotch” you mentioned. Bring it out to me and I’ll try it.”

“You’re on!” said the guy.

The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, “Two scotch on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup please.”

The bartender sighed and said, “Is that darn nun out there again!”