(1) Will you MARRY me?
If you are the Indian lady reading this proposal letter, will you marry this faithful suitor?
Really funny. Have fun reading…
Madam,
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb bells in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb bells in the gym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon, Yours and only yours
C.S.V.L.T.Rao
(2) Welcome onboard Air India!
Surinder Singh’s uncle was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. However, as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place.
When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, ‘I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don’t charge me for food and drinks!’
So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal.
The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food. ‘Excuse me, what is that drink?’ he asked. The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said,
Then the uncle took out several pieces of chappatis and started feasting. ‘And what is that dish?’ asked the curious American..
‘Wheat of India!’ replied the uncle proudly.
Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.
‘What is it?’ asked the American.
‘Sweets of India!’ replied the old man. After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud ‘pooooooooot!’ sound from the uncle.
‘What was that?’ asked the American, holding his nose in disgust.
The old man replied coolly,
‘That’s Air India.’
(3) Smart Indians
Three INDIANs and three PAKISTANIs are travelling by train to a Cricket match at the World Cup. At the station, after the three PAKISTANIs buy a ticket each, they notice the three INDIANS buy just one ticket for all of them.
“How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the PAKISTANIs.
“Watch and learn,” answers one of the INDIANs.
On the train the PAKISTANIs take their respective seats but the three INDIANs are seen cramming into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and asks, “Ticket, please.”
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The PAKISTANIs watch this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the INDIAN style on the return trip to save some money. When they get to the station, they get only one ticket. To their astonishment, the INDIANs did not buy any ticket at all!
“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed PAKISTANI.
“Watch and learn,” answers an INDIAN.
When they board the train the three PAKISTANIs cram into one toilet and soon after the three INDIANs cram into another nearby toilet.
The train departs. Not much longer, one of the INDIANs leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the PAKISTANIs are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The INDIAN takes the ticket and goes back into his toilet.
(3) Smart Indians
Three INDIANs and three PAKISTANIs are travelling by train to a Cricket match at the World Cup. At the station, after the three PAKISTANIs buy a ticket each, they notice the three INDIANS buy just one ticket for all of them.
“Watch and learn,” answers one of the INDIANs.
On the train the PAKISTANIs take their respective seats but the three INDIANs are seen cramming into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and asks, “Ticket, please.”
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The PAKISTANIs watch this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the INDIAN style on the return trip to save some money. When they get to the station, they get only one ticket. To their astonishment, the INDIANs did not buy any ticket at all!
“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed PAKISTANI.
“Watch and learn,” answers an INDIAN.
The train departs. Not much longer, one of the INDIANs leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the PAKISTANIs are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The INDIAN takes the ticket and goes back into his toilet.
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