One day representatives from both sides decided to enter a competitive boat race. Both teams practised hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the eventful day the Japanese won by a mile!
The American team was humiliated by the loss and morale ran low. A consulting firm was engaged by the Corporate management to probe into the reason for the crushing defeat and come out with a paper on the corrective actions to take.
Not long later the crucial finding was reported: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering whilst the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After another year of study and millions poured into analyzing the problem, the American team’s management structure was completely reorganized into: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.
This revamp did not seem to work well and in the following year, the Japanese won by two miles this time!!
Frustrated with the second blow, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.
This is a big lesson we learn that top management can be seriously wrong at times.
Few more lessons to discover the theories for failing !!
Lesson 1: Sharing critical information
After a wife finishes her shower, her hushand takes his turn. At this juncture, the doorbell rings and she quickly wraps herself in a towel and dashes downstairs. Upon opening the door, she sees her next-door neighbour, Bob.
Before she utters a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
Giving a slight thought the woman happily drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After flashing for few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. Immediately her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob our next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he come to return the $800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2: Know your job well
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest was embarassed and removed his hand. When changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3: Your boss decides
A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking towards a cafe for lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie appears.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll offer each of you one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone..
Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone…
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4 – Secured only at the top
An eagle was perching on a tree branch resting in a relaxed manner. A small rabbit passing by saw the eagle and asked, ‘Can I be like you sit and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a heron appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5 – Never bluff your way to the top
A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..
Lesson 6 – The safest place may be the most dangerous place
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold it froze and fell to the ground on a large field. While lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird. The pile of dung was warm and thawed the frozen bird.
Feeling warm and happy, it began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the buried bird, dug and ate it.
Morals of the story:
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut.
THIS ENDS THE FIVE MORE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE. HAVE YOU BENEFITED?
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