Case 1: Only when it rains….
There is a woman who likes to bring guys into her house when her husband is at work. On a wet and lusty day she was in bed a new boyfriend. Suddenly, she heard her husband’s car pulled into the driveway. Horrified, she screamed:
“Oh My God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”
“I can’t jump out the window!” came the strangled reply from beneath the sheets “Cant you see it’s raining out there!”
“If he catches us in here, he is going kill us both!” she replied. “He’s very hot tempered and has a large gun! Get out now fast!”
The lover had no choice but to jump out of bed, grab his clothes and flung out of the window.
Running down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly realised he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon with many participants. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to go with the crowd. A small group of runners caught up with him and out of curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.
“Oh yes” he replied, gasping in air. “It feels so wonderfully free having the air blow over all your skin while you’re running.”
A second runner asked. “Do you always run carrying your clothes under your arm?”
“Oh, yes” he answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”
A third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried: “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
Case 2: You know who I am?
On his first day in a big multinational company a trainee dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, ”Get me a coffee quickly!“
You’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?“
” No“, replied the trainee.
”It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot! ” the MD responded.
The young man shouted back,
” And do you know who you’re talking to, you old fool?“
” No“, replied the MD.
”Thank God!”, replied the trainee, and he quickly put down the phone.
(3) Knowledge is POWER
”Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.”
Everyone in the premises froze.
(This is called “Mind Changing Concept”. Changing the conventional way of thinking.)
When a lady laid on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her:
”Please be mindful of your modesty! This is a robbery and not a rape!”
(This is called “Being Professional”. Focus only on what you are trained to do!)
When the bank robbers got home, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (lowly educated):
“Big brother, let’s count how much we got.”
The older robber rebutted and said:
“You are very stupid. It takes a long time to count so much money. Wait for the TV news tonight to disclose the amount robbed from the bank!”
(This is called “Experience”. Paper qualifications not required.)
After the robbers had left, the bank manager instructed the bank supervisor to alert the police quickly. The supervisor had more in mind:
“Wait! Let us take out another $10 million from the vault to add on to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
(This is called “Swim with the tide”. Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!)
Both agreed: “It will be good if there is a robbery every month.”
(This is called “Killing Boredom”. Personal Happiness is more important than your job.)
So the TV news reported that $100 million was removed from the bank. The robbers counted several times but could only find $20 million. They were very angry and complained:
“We risked our lives for this sum. The bank personnels took $80 million without lifting their fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!”
(This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”)
The bank manager and his supervisor were laughing to the bank and their recent losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
(This is called “Seizing the opportunity”. Daring to take risks!)
No comments:
Post a Comment
This is a blog created to provide and share information for the benefits of everyone into physical and spiritual health. Some information are extracted from unknown sources or the internet superhighways and edited for public viewing. If you happened to be the source provider and do not like such display, please write in and I will remove the materials as soon as possible. As I reiterate this is a free sharing blog, it is only meaningful if all engaging parties have access to the information presented in the most unbiased manner. Thus, please be more accomodating and participative if you wish. Sure you have more to gain than lose. Happy reading!
Administrator
Leonard