Monday, 12 May 2014

Job ! Job !! Job !!! (with jokes)

  

Very often we write and fine tune resume many times before sending out the application. However, do we seriously think hard how to handle an interview when the opportunity comes?

Wonder how some people can easily clinch a job during an interview when most applicants failed to impress. 

The trick lies in how prospective employees stand in their power and enlighten employers on their VALUE.

Listed below are some tips and strategies for effective interviewing from preparation through delivery.  Successful interviewing is essentially a quick process in closing up an offer.  Knowing as much as possible about the company can make your interview more interactive and could be just what you need to get ahead in a competitive job market.



HOT TIPS TO APPLY DURING INTERVIEW !

1.  Take the opportunity to learn the business conditions, rather than handling questions passively.  The purpose of this exercise is to differentiate individuals who can be a contributor.  Thus, dare to throw in ideas how the job can be done in a better way, if possible.

2.  Relate past working experience to new job and be able to share some useful information.  Most people are competent enough to complete assigned tasks and find the job mundane and not fulfilling.  If this is the attitude adopted, there is not much to share in the next job.

3.  Show, rather than tell, what you can do.  This shows you understand how the new job should be carried out and thus you are ready for it.  This is the same example of a staff who is capable of covering his senior’s duties well and thus ready for a promotion.

4.  Dare to propose non-standard ideas as you work through the hiring pipeline. Forward looking companies are constantly seeking out better corporate performance and this can only be accomplished with high quality and resourceful people at disposal.

5.  Be truthful. An interviewer usually wants to see your true self and judge how best you can work with them. If possible, the company may make provisions in your career plan to groom you to take on bigger role if you have a big dream to realise.

6.  Express you need.  No employee will value a candidate who does not value himself or herself.  This is to ensure you really fit into the job nicely and ready to give your best shot.

Also,

7.  View from the employer’s perspective what is needed.  Hence, it is not “I need the job” but ”Here is why you might need someone like me“.

Fine example

An elderly lady attended an interview for a customer service position and ended with the job, having competed fiercely with many young candidates.  She spoke about her past experience in handling clients, her profound interest in meeting requests and ability to explain procedures patiently.

Lastly, social networking can help you to land up on the right job. The people you associate with are your best conduits to jobs that become available as they know you well before you step into the interview room.

No excuse for not getting your NEXT job!

More comments

Good academic achievement is likely to put you on a better footing.  The rest is up to an individual to prove his or her ability to perform.  Having the right attitude and aptitude are basic pre-requisities for success.  The sky is the limit for anyone to move up the corporate ladder.

Hence, getting the highest possible salary right should not be the priority if you are just starting out to hunt for a meaningful job. Most people are too pre-occupied with short term benefits and do not plan for long-term success. A dead end job or one which offers at best a rise of a level or two in the organization for the long term may not sound interesting for an ambitious person. The training and the contacts are far more important to really get a head-start in your career. A more organised approach can make a couple of raises and a promotion happening to advance your career in the next few years. You can then foresee what is in store for the next 10 years to come, and then map out a path to reach a higher goal.

No matter what stage of life you are in, you can organize yourself for success. Having a few years of related experience enables you to set your long term goals and then map out your own path for achieving them. Similarly, if you own a business or thinking about starting one, the same strategies should work too.

Career planning is a long-term commitment till you fully retired. Planning a good start in life is important for faster success. Having an objective in mind is critical to avoid losing track of time and direction out there.

FUNNY Applicants (jokes)

Bad examples
 
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever
been arrested?”
 
He answered, “No.”

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was “Why?”

The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Employer to applicant: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.”

Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible and I admitted each time.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


“Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?”

“I ought to be able to. I’ve had ten different jobs in four months.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”

“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office.

“What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you’ve ever had.”

“Well,” the young man said, “in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++


A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee’s application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man,

“For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.”

“Well Sir,” the applicant replies, “the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The classified ad said, “Wanted: a very experienced lumberjack”.

A man answered the ad and was asked to describe his experience.

“I’ve worked at the Sahara Forest.”

“You mean the Sahara Desert” said the interviewer.

The man laughed and answered “Oh sure, that’s what they call it now!”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

New Job techniques for INTERVIEWERS…..

Take the prospective employee and put him in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave him alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what he is doing.

*  If he has taken the table apart, put him in Engineering.

*  If he is counting the butts in the ashtray, assign him to Finance.

*  If he is waving his arms and talking out loud, send him to Consulting.

*  If he is talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for him.

*  If he is sleeping, he is Management material.

*  If he is writing up the experience, send him to the Technical Documentation team.

*  If he doesn’t even look up when you enter the room, assign him to Security.

*  If he tries to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, put him into Marketing.

*  If he is wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Software is his niche.

*  If he mentions what a good price we got for the table and chairs, send him to Purchasing.

*  If he mentions that hardwood furniture does not come from rainforests, Public Relations will suit him well.

Source:  http://www.workjoke.com/applicants-jokes.html

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