Monday 3 February 2014

Three CLEVER women (joke)



1st woman: Men! Wake up!!

As he was going to inherit a fortune from his sickly, old widower father, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles’ bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

“I’m just an ordinary man,” he said, walking up to her, but in just a week or two, my father will die and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars and would like to have someone to share it with.”

The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.


2nd woman: Men! Fooled again!!

An old couple was married for many years but could not get along with each other. After a confrontation, they would be heard screaming and yelling deep into the night. 

The old man would shout, ‘When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!’

Neighbors were scared of his curse. They believed he practised black magic after witnessing many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, ‘Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?

The wife put down her drink and said, ‘Let him dig. I had him buried upside down……’

3rd woman: Men! Never learn!!!

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.


The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?”

”Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

”Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce!”

”I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

”Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

”That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

”Ours is prettier,” she replies.

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